Growing Up is Hard to Do

There is a saying out there that you minister from your pain.  This may be the reason why I felt so compelled to enter into youth ministry.  My world as a high school student orbited around athletics, football in particular, and when graduation came about I found myself without identity and without purpose.  Like any asian parent, my father wanted me to become one of the following: an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer -- a millionaire!  And yet I found myself afraid of adulthood.  18 came so fast, and there was no way of slowing it down.  All of a sudden my decisions were going to put me on a trajectory that would impact the rest of my life.  That's heavy!  Decisions, finally, had real consequences and real ramifications.  This pressure was paralyzing.  The next two years was lived in a slumber; a blur; a daze.

Being in youth ministry for more than 8 years I have witnessed countless teenagers who are in similar circumstances.  They enter their college years with a great deal of confusion and uncertainty.  The rise of anxiety within college freshman has been reported to have grown exponentially.  This fad does not seem to be going into remission.

As an Asian-American I have found that in my particular culture adults tend to do a great job in rebuking young people, but yet lack the patience and fortitude to walk through life's situations with them.  At the core of the adolescent issue, especially in the church, is the lack of discipleship.  My fear is that with the technological growth and expansion, the generations that will be produced through this age, will lack an even greater connection to life, pursuit, and human responsibility (as God has designed it).

As parents, guardians, and mentors we must be willing to walk with students through this season of life.  In doing so here are a few things to keep in mind as we accompany them on their journey.

Time is of the Essence:

Before we can gain access into the lives of students we must be intentional, available, and consistent.  Prior to reaching their college years we must be able to establish a functional disciple-oriented relationship.  We must infuse ourselves in their lives in order to ask the difficult questions which will spark their minds to think deeper, wider, and longer.  The more consistent we are in living life with students the more access we will have in speaking into their lives and engaging in areas of fear and anxiety (reaching their heart).  It is in these moments where our own experiences can testify to God's faithfulness and provision.

Upon starting my position as Youth Pastor at Hmong American Alliance Church (HAAC) I inherited a large number of students.  My first year was focused on establishing a structure and system that would allow me to empower students to be discipled and leaders to disciple.  What my formal education had taught me was that the ministry would not function properly until year three or four.  Meanwhile my wife and I began to realize that we were working with real students with real problems in real life situations. Time was of the essence.

We must be willing to invest in the lives of young people and sacrifice some of our own time in order to see students align themselves to the action of God's redemptive work (regardless of their vocational pursuit).  Walking with them and probing their heart will help them articulate and decipher God's direction in their life.

The Journey:

We have to remember that discipleship is a marathon and not a sprint.  More times than not the long term impact is built upon consistency and substance.  Dr. Andrew Root has written extensively on the phenomenon of youth ministry being birthed through the culture of adolescence.  This culture was inaugurated through the establishment of the educational system which took children away from their parents and family trade.  In doing so students, for the first time in history, found themselves consolidated down to their peers and away from their parents who were, predominantly, their main influence.

In a day and age where family structure is dysfunctional and broken, we must seek to disciple in ways that opens our life to students and allow them to see how faithful believers operate in marriage, in parenting, and in work.  This transparent living is to point students toward God's glory and reflect forth His design for men and women.   This type of discipleship will allow students to see their lives as adults -- particularly as a spouse, a parent, and a citizen of God's Kingdom.  This type of discipleship has a longterm view.

Its a Heart Issue:

Youth ministry has been labeled as merely entertainment running on excitement.  Unfortunately many youth workers have not done a good job at dispelling this notion.  I am not saying that youth ministry can not be fun, but at the core of its existence youth ministry must be about speaking into the heart's of students by allowing the Spirit's effectual work to quicken their eyes toward Jesus.  As faithful servants of the Gospel youth workers must be willing to lean into the heart issues of students and reveal the idolatry that has mastered them.

Much of the fear and anxiety that haunts the student (and us) are rooted in the false gods that they have allowed to shape their identity and worth.  Instead of allowing the work of Christ to set them free from fear, they begin to allow other things to be their functional savior. These false gods embody an underlining misconception that permeates toward an unhealthy view of parental approval, lust toward money, unwarranted success, unattainable achievement, and more.  As mentors and disciplers we must be courageous and Spirit-led in infiltrating through the dirt of idolatry and point them toward the grace, forgiveness, and love of the Gospel.  All of which is to lead to the sacred life.

Through it all we must be willing to grow up with our students and venture through these seasons together.  With the western church becoming extremely individualistic, the people of God must fight to live in community and be available for God to use.  God speaks to us in many ways -- His Word, dreams, our inner conscience -- but we must not forget that another way He speaks is through the vehicle of the church.  And in case you forgot, you are the church!